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Showing posts with label marriage jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage jokes. Show all posts

Sunday, October 25, 2009

husband and wife jokes

Life & Death From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy.""Samy! But he is your enemy!""Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

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Wedding Ring At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

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Why? A man goes to his father with his problem, "Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

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Same Service A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.""Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

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Talk About Husband One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

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Love To A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple ? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?""I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough".

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No one dares A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares to answer her."One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

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Come Home Late A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim? And that cured him.""Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

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Problem Father "You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"He replied, "I'm going to be a father.""But that's wonderful," I said."What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet."

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Husband and Wife

Husband and Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband and Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband and Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband and Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband and Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Husband and Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband and Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband and Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband and Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband and Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

About Marriage

About marriage... Enjoy...

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.

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If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime. Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. Wives r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.

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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

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