Friendship

Friendship between women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.



Friendship between men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

"What gender is 'computer'?"

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.’

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4.. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.....

CONVERSATION BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE

WIFE: I wrote your name on the sand, it got washed away.
I wrote your name on the air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart and I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, He created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, He created light.
He saw me without problems, then He created YOU.

WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

HUSBAND: The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in the cage but laughing at you.